Each and every one of us are leaders, even its only for ourselves, and we are human. And it’s complex.

And during the leadership period of ours, there is a silent weight many leaders carry—a weight not found on spreadsheets, meeting agendas, or performance dashboards. It is the emotional baggage we bring from our past such as childhood wounds, unresolved betrayals, unmet expectations, and stories of abandonment. These silent scripts run in the background, shaping how we make decisions, how we respond to failure, how we treat our teams, and how we define our self-worth.

I have seen it firsthand—in others and in myself. All my life, I’ve walked through fire. I’ve been abandoned, underestimated, being harassed and bullied, misunderstood, lied to, and challenged at levels many wouldn’t survive. And I believe, many of us are experienced the similar thing, though we’re just respond it differently.

And in the past, I too carried those wounds forward into my leadership. I fought battles not just with others, but mostly within myself. There were moments where I led from pain, from defence, from fear of being hurt again. And it always showed—in how I over-explained, over-defended, over-controlled, or stayed silent when I should’ve spoken.

But here is the truth: leadership magnifies whatever is unhealed.

If you haven’t made peace with your past, it will leak into your leadership, whether you realize it or not. You will see enemies where there are none. You will micromanage because you don’t trust. You will lash out because something in you still bleeds. You will crumble under pressure because the pain isn’t processed but only buried. And when the emotional baggage is only buried but not solved, then it doesn’t heal you, instead it will twist to something worse which will affect on whatever you do.

“Time doesn’t heal things by itself unless we choose to act and solved the issues”

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As part of my experience in the past, I’ve worked with people who couldn’t let go of their pain. One of them, an ex-friend, carried his childhood wounds so deeply that he couldn’t function without projecting them onto everyone else. It destroyed his relationships, his mental health, and his career. He had all the potential, but he never truly saw himself. And because he couldn’t release the past, he couldn’t lead himself, let alone others.

And why I said here, my ex-friend? Because I have tried in every power that I have to encourage, to guide, to show, from the soft way to the hard way, like everything it needs to help him out, but it didn’t work simply because he chooses to stay on his pain. Nothing and nobody can help you if you refuse to help yourself. And that’s when I choose to respect myself and disengage. Let the universe teach him, I’ve done my part.

And that’s my friend, the danger: if you don’t drop your emotional baggage, it will shape every room you enter. You will lead from a distorted mirror, and it will cost you a lot.

As for me, I can choose to stay in my pain too if I want, or I can choose a different path, and I chose the different one. Not an easier one—but a clearer one. I aligned my mind, emotions, and body, I am entering the 5D level of consciousness. I released the need to be validated by people who didn’t understand my heart. I stopped seeking justice in places where there would never be one. I stopped trying to prove my worth to people whose lens was too dusty to ever see clearly. I choose to hold my anger and turn it into calmness and still be respectful whenever something has sparked me. I even sometimes stop talking and/or explaining things to those that I think have no willingness to listen and/or to those who does not have the capacity to understand what I am about to say.

And with that, I became free. For this, one of my friends said that I am “The Pivot Master”.

I still feel the sting sometimes. I still cry when it hurts. But now, I lead from a place of peace, not pain. From wisdom, not woundedness. From calm, not chaos. Those negative emotions could not hijack my life anymore. Why? Because I choose to. Not because I must.

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To any leader reading this: drop the baggage, please. Not for others, but for yourself. You don’t have to drag those ghosts into every boardroom, every decision, every conversation. Let your leadership be a reflection of your highest self, not your hurt self.

Because people don’t just follow your words or your vision. They follow your energy. And your energy tells the truth about you, whether you speak it or not.

When the words or actions can be misaligned…. but…

“Energy Never Lies”

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This story is a part of my personal journey. Please do not copy or reproduce any part of it without permission. Sharing is welcome with proper credit and a link to this blog